The Other Halloween

Run for your lives men! The other Halloween is here, this one a lot scarier and even more dangerous. That’s right!…Valentine’s day in upon us! Now to all of men who were whipped long ago, don’t worry your women don’t expect as much from you.

But wait.

What about the men who have been clever enough to avoid marriage thus far?

You’re the ones I’m writing to. We’re the ones in the most danger. For us a simple, “I love you,” isn’t going to cut it. Sure it doesn’t hurt but the women take that as their just due. No, on Valentine’s Day they expect more after having put up with our cheap gifts, excuses and leaving our underwear hanging ftom a lanp shade, (actually I’m with the women on that one. Pick up your filthy undies you slobs!) Come to think of it maybe married men aren’t as far of the hook as I previously said.

Quick digression, St. Valentine was a Christian martyr, whom greeting card companies adapted as a marketing campaign to put us all in danger every year. Thanks a lot Hallmark and your television network stinks too! So I’m here to tell you the solution to the Valentine’s Day conundrum.

Answer: There isn’t one.

Sorry. You want to live, suck it up for one day and do all of those things that make your innards crawl. Don’t cheapskate on the gifts and give them cuddles even if it makes your skin crawl. Happy Valentine’s Day, see you tomorrow, at least those who survive. 💖😁