How not to win a football game

This blog post as the title indicates is to teach you how not to win a football game, courtesy of last years defending national champion LSU Tigers.

Step 1: Graduate almost every player from last year’s team.

I know. That can’t be helped. True. So let’s move on.

The way you lose a football game is to first have a starting quarterback who throws an interception to an opposing player, one who is so wide open you can only assume said quarterback was confused, and thought he was playing for the other team. Once that’s done the next step is to stand there like your feet are encased in concrete while the other player returns it for a touchdown.

Score: 7-0

Next, one possession later have the same quarterback who has just shown his expertise at digging you into a hole, fumble the ball, again deep inside his own territory, followed instantly by a defender recovering and running the ball in for a touchdown.

Score: 14-0

Down two touchdowns and the other teams offense hasn’t had to do a thing.

Another sure way to lose a game is late in the first-half, pin the opposing team back at their own 1 yard line, and then on the very first play from scrimmage, allow the running back to break out for a 25 yard gain. The rest is easy, from there let them to drive all the way to your 1 yard line where they cap a 99 yard scoring drive with only a few seconds before halftime. Just something to tide them over before the next half starts.

The next step in how to lose a football game is to totally collapse in the 3rd quarter and have the other team score on you at will so you can then enter the 4th quarter trailing 48-3. Down 45 points with still an entire 15 minutes left to play. Can’t do it any better than that. If you’re going to lose, lose big. Just like the saying, “Go Big, or Go Home,” and I’m sure LSU wanted to go home at halftime. Needless to say the 4th quarter did not get better, so there’s no reason discuss it. Anyway, if you want to lose a game, do everything I just described. If you want to win one, do the opposite.

Until next time. 🇺🇸