Ever try watching tv in braille? I know, how do you do that, it doesn’t make sense? It does when your television loses the picture immediately after you turn it on. No picture but the volume works fine. It’s like listening to a giant radio mounted on your wall. I’m pissed.
Suspecting that the problem is my satellite service, I call my provider, spoke to a lovely woman named Lynn, (I liked her name, simple, easy to remember) and after an hour and a half, I still had the same problem, only I was one hour and thirty minutes older and a lot more aggravated. Not blaming Lynn, she even set up an appointment time for a technician to come out and fix my problem, even expedited it to give my the soonest possible one, soonest time they could come…OCTOBER 23! THREE FUCKING WEEKS! Don’t hurry, be careful, don’t fall all over yourselves trying to rush here for a paying customer. And they sure as hell aren’t. Lazy bastards.
I called my girlfriend Poop Ahoy, who like always was sitting on the toilet, and she chalked it up to their maybe being short staffed. Who cares? Not my problem. The can’t possibly be so far behind it will take three weeks. And what if it’s the television and not the service, I can’t find out either for, THREE WEEKS!! Maybe I’ll switch my service to Spectrum. It can’t be any worse than this.
Until next time, try and enjoy the daylight. I will, I sure as hell don’t have a television to distract me. 😎🚬
A Fifth of Brian 
Your girlfriend doesn’t reply to Poops Ahoy. She told me. A turd and cookies should never be mixed together.
Back to the subject, I’m sorry that Dish provides such crappy customer service. Tweet them your aggravation! Tell those motherf*ckers to hurry up. Who do they work for? The government?
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