If it’s possible to ruin something a liberal will find a way. Now they’re going after the Stars & Stripes. The New York Times has proposed a series of new designs.

Some examples include of so many colors in one scheme it made me want to adjust my television. Another that looked like ugly wallpaper on a cheap New Jersey motel room and one that was such a collage of images it made no sense whatsoever. The last one was titled “Lift Every Voice And Sing.”

Sing about what, how ass wipe ugly it is?

Your flag is our flag and has been with us for us since 1777. Over the years it has made adjustments to include new states. Our flag is timeless and should be left alone. SO DO IT!

Until next time, remember there are more of us than there are of them. 🇺🇸

We’ve talked about the designated hitter, the designated sitter, today we’re going to talk about someone equally important, only not really, yes I’m talking about…

The Ceremonial First Pitch Thrower Outer Guy.

Dressed in slacks, a button down shirt, the cap of the home team and absolutely no athletic talent whatsoever, you take to the mound and boldly announce, “Im here to make a complete ass of myself.” Over the backstop, halfway to the plate, over the catchers head and into the umpire’s groin. You’re fastball has been clocked at a heart stopping six miles an hour. So here’s to you O’ Sultan of the slider. Sometimes making fun of you is the best part of the game.

Until next time, try and enjoy the daylight. 😎🚬

Has anyone watched the late night comedy shows lately?

I have…and they stink.

Seven different smug and unbearable personalities all recycling the same Trump jokes when he’s no longer in office. Both sad and pathetic.

This is where late night comedy has so badly failed America. Late night comedy used to be a source of common culture, where we all put our differences aside for an hour at a time and just laughed at the crazy world we all inhabited. But somewhere along the way they started getting more applause rates than laughs, meaning they were no longer doing comedy but giving lectures. What late night comedy then turned into was just an outlet for self-hating liberals to get confirmation bias before going home and surfing the net for porn. It’s no wonder Greg Gutfeld, a cable host now has the highest ratings in late night.

Makes me miss Carson and Leno all the more.

Until next time, try and enjoy the daylight. 😎🚬

That’s right, it’s here. The first day of Fall, one of my two favorite times of year, Spring being the other. The weather is already cooler making feel like Fall. That doesn’t always happen, some years it feels like it stays a bitchy Summer until late October. Not this year.

I’m looking forward to the turning of the leaves, beautiful brown, crisp orange and lovely red. Autumn never lasts long so enjoy it while you can.

Autumn.

I like that word. Sounds better than Fall. I’m going to start using that one instead. Anyway, I’ve just been sitting outside enjoying the day and only stopped in to write this post. Gotta go. Don’t let this time of year slip by without stopping to appreciate it.

Until next time, try and enjoy the daylight. 😎🚬

This is a true story based on events that never happened. The names and places have been changed to protect my hide but also make for a better story. Any resemblance to real people, alive or dead, is strictly intentional and done for the purposes of causing aggravation.

This is the true story (although not really) of how I met Poops Ahoy.

The time: Six years ago.

Location: Hong Kong”s red light district. (Ignoring that I’ve never been there.)

Address: Madam Wu’s House of Wu.

Now you might be wondering what I was doing in a sexually diseased place like Hong Kong’s red light district where you can catch anything translatable at a low low price.

Answer: I was making a FedEx delivery. (Never mind I’ve never worked for them).

Madame Wu’s was a fancy Portland Street brothel, heavy oak wooden door for an entrance and plush red carpets on the inside. Also lights kept so dim you could barely see past the end of your nose. Madam Wu was a notorious cheap skate who had a reputation for never spending a cent more than she had to.

That’s when I heard the sound of fingers hitting a keypad. Since no one had greeted me at the door I decided to follow the sound down to hall coming from an open door. It was a small office kept darker than the inside of your hat, the only light coming from a tiny lamp on a desk.

Behind it sat a pretty woman, beautiful Asian features, wearing a visor cap with a plastic green bill, the kind you see dealers wear in a back room poker game. Even better were the little round coke bottle glasses she wore that made her look like the granddaughter of Mr. Motto.

“Hello, I have a delivery for Madam Wu,” I said.

She made no response. Even as dark as it was I knew she could see me because her eyes looked as large as saucers through the lenses of her glasses.

Thinking she didn’t understand me I did what westerners always do when faced with a language barrier…raised my voice.

“I HAVE A DELIVERY FOR MADAM WU.”

“You don’t have to yell,” she said, “I’m from California.”

Oh course. Yeah. This wasn’t off to a good start at all. Trying to recover I asked her what she was doing in Hong Kong. She looked at me strangely snd for a second I thought she was going to say, “I could ask you the same question.” I’m thankful she didn’t, instead, “I’m in accounting. I go where the work is.” And we hit it off from there. That was over half a decade ago and we’re still going strong. That’s all you need to know.

Until next time, try and enjoy the daylight. 😎🚬

Ever wake up with a powerful craving? No, I’m not talking about your morning piss. Or your first dump of the day…looking at you Poops Ahoy. I’m talking about: CHEESBURGERS! (accompanying echo)

Cheesburgers are my comfort food and with things outside gloomier than a democrat run state, I decided today was the perfect day for one. But not just any cheesburger, like you can get from a McDonald’s, I mean one from the local Shop & Save.

What’s so great about those you ask? and “What’s a Shop & Save? Relax, one question at a time. I’m getting to both. The Cheesburgers at the shop and save toast like they’re fresh off a grill at a backyard barbeque. (Yum!) 😋 and the Shop & Save is a locally owned (at least I think it is) supermarket found only where I live. Finally some advantage to living in this town. Even better…I got the final two made for today and got back just in time to beat the rain. 😁

Until next time, try and enjoy the daylight. 😎🚬

My day started off bad. I had an argument with my breakfast cereal.

Cheerios?

No.

Corn Flakes?

No and I hated those from the time I was a child.

Then what?

I’m getting there, hold your horses.

I’m talking about Rice Krispies.

That’s right. The smart mouth of all the breakfasts cereals. I found that out this morning.

I poured it in a bowl.

Added milk.

And heard, “Snap, Crackle, Fuck you.”

“What?” I said, not believing I had heard it right.

Same thing.

“Snap, Crackle, Fuck You!”

“You can’t speak that way to me,” I said.

Man was I wrong. Snap, Crackle amd a big “FUCK YOU.”

Snap and Crackle were doing their jobs but Pop had become a disgruntled employee.

“I don’t have to take this!” I yelled, face directly over the bowl.

Snap and Crackle continued to act in a professional cereal like manner but Pop, who had may been listening to too much gangsta rap may or have

been looking for a career change after all these years said for a chorus…

“Fuck You!”

“That’s it!” I shouted and threw the bowl and the potty mouthed cereal into the trash. I could have dumped the cereal and kept the bowl put I didn’t want to have anything that would allow such filthy language in my home. Yes, I know it’s an inanimate object, that’s not the point. From now on I’m sticking with Cheerios, they’re nicer.

Until next time, try and enjoy the daylight. 😎🚬

I’m going to talk about something personal today. Appreciate this because I’m not someone who reveals vulnerability very often. Last night I had a bad dream. We all do but I’m talking about one of those dreams you vividly remember and leaves you shaken to your core.

My girlfriend and I live on opposite coasts (an arrangement we both want to change). I received a phone call telling me that she had died. I felt like my heart had been ripped out it was so real. I could actually feel myself gasping for breath in my sleep. No details as to how or why, if there ever is a why. Only that the center of my universe was gone. The one who brings me joy, that good thing we all pray to find.

I remember trying to contact her sister but I don’t have her phone number (need to change that). I remember never feeling so powerless, even in my dream the world became a darker place without her.

And then I woke up.

I was relieved that it had all been a dream. But it had felt so real. Frighteningly so. I wanted to call her and tell her how much I loved her and was sorry for taking it all for granted. So that’s what I’m doing now.

I love you Arleen. You are the light of my life. Dream or no, it is all so empty without you. 💞💖

It’s never to late to tell the one you love who you feel.

Until next time. 😎🚬

We all have those days where we remember where we were when great and terrible events occurred. Examples include: Pearl Harbor, the Kennedy assassination, Apollo 11’s historic moon landing. Those who came after have others. The day of the Challenger explosion in 1986 ot perhaps a more positive one such as hearing that the United States hockey team had defeated the Soviets in the 1980 Winter Olympics at Lake Placid, New York. But the one day we all now remember young and old is the fateful events of September 11th, 2001.

I remember where I was.

Having the day off I slept later than usual climbing out of bed a little after eight a.m., turned on the television and was greeted with the news that the World Trade Center had been destroyed by terrorists. My living room was as far as I went that day. For the next 24 hours like everyone around the world I stayed glued to my television for news. Death tolls, rescue efforts, the story of the heroic efforts of the passengers aboard flight United Airlines Flight 93 to retake the plane. Heroes all.

On the 20th Anniversary of the terror attacks of Sept 11th, I urge everyone who fells like America has become too divided, to remember the spirit of this day and to know there are better days ahead. The heroes are always with ud and rise when called upon.

Good Bless America. 🇺🇸

Are you an incompetent boss?

Do your employees openly roll their eyes or make fun of you behind your back?

Then have we got the solution for you.

Embrace your inner Hitler.

That’s right. You can be just like our esteemed President Joe Biden by embracing your inner Hitler. Have a debacle you’re trying to distract from like his humiliating retreat from Afghanistan? Vaccine push not working out? Then embrace your inner Hitler and don’t blame the vaccine or the failure to persuade. Embrace your inner Hitler and blame the people who haven’t mindlessly obeyed without question.

Are you spineless and everyone knows it?

Then embrace your inner Hitler and assume powers you don’t have by decreeing that everyone has to take a vaccine that doesn’t work and threaten to fine businesses that don’t submit.

That’s right all of you feckless milk sops out there, this is the solution to all of your problems. By embracing your inner Hitler, you are guaranteed the masses will love you and sing your praises ’till their throats are sore.

Until next time, remember, there are more of us than there are of them.

😎🚬