I’ve talked about American heroes before but today I’m saluting one who has been badly overlooked. Someone whose artwork you see everytime you step into a bathroom stall. That’s right, the bathroom dirty joke writer.
Your comedic talents make an incredibly dirty place even dirtier. Your jokes make us laugh so hard we pee our pants. Good thing their down around our ankles. You answer our most vexing question: what really did happen to the man from Nantucket? So today we give an All-American salute to you, master of the filthy joke, because when we need to distract ourselves from thinking about the dirty place others butts have been, we turn to you. Keep up the good work!
Until next time. 🇺🇸
A Fifth of Brian 
For a second there, I thought you were going to salute your girlfriend. She knows about bathrooms. She told me you were going to go toilet shopping with her. That’s really nice of you! 😊
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Fake news
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No, it’s not! Your girlfriend told me.
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But she’s wrong alot.
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I dare you to say it to her face.
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I will if I ever see her again.
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