Deja-Moo All Over Again.

It’s time to gather around the table (or go through drive-up windows) and show your gratitude to the ones who’ve made it possible to clog our arteries so effectively. It’s Cow Appreciation Day. It’s that day we celebrate our favorite cows with names like Moogan Freeman, Moohamed, Winnie the Moo and others like Angus, Big Mac and Meatloaf (not even trying to hide what’s coming there) by taking a big bite out of them on a bun.

Without cows, what would steak houses be? Fish restaurants that’s what (yuck). There would be no reason to go through the ice cream section at the supermarket because it’s all made from milk. No milk, no milkshakes (see you just learned something). Before the invention of powdered creamer, people used real cream in their coffee (again cream is milk, as in cream and sugar. Now you’re gettin’ it). Skim milk doesn’t count though, I’d hate to see the cow that gave that.

And what about the side dishes that depend upon that dead cow on your plate? Let’s not forget about them. The hamburger associates, or as they’re more popularly known: french fries (make ’em crinkle cut) and onion rings. Baked potatoes, onions and carrots are all of those things that depend upon burgers, steaks and pot roast to even be noticed. Think of them, oh the humanity! No make that, oh the veggies! So show your thanks to the steers and heifers on this Cow Appreciation Day by biting into a dead one covered with mustard because you can’t have a cookout without them. But if you really want to show your love, head on down to a Chick-fil-A and eat some dead chicken with Polynesian sauce. I hear they’re giving away free food today.

God Bless America and bon appetit. 🇺🇸